


Ugly Women

by godsdaisiechain (preux)



Category: Laverne & Shirley (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 13:18:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5628028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preux/pseuds/godsdaisiechain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Laverne never liked the agreement that Shirley’s sweetheart Carmine could date ugly women.  Lenny and Squiggy are smarter than they might seem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ugly Women

Another Christmas Eve, another bad date for Laverne. Luckily, she was planning to meet Lenny and Squiggy for some last-minute shopping. She was early.

She caught sight of two people in the doorway, a couple, the girl almost as big as the fella. Laverne’s first thought was “how sweet.” She smiled to herself when ugly girls found a guy. It gave her hope that some day she’d have a man of her own.

Then she recognized a voice. It was Carmine, Shirley’s sweetheart. Laverne had always liked Carmine, but she hated the agreement he had with Shirley—especially the part where he could date ugly girls. Something seemed a little off about that. And for someone who worked in a beer factory, “off” had a special type of meaning.

The figures were too far away for her to hear clearly, but she caught a tone when Carmine’s gal spoke. A gravelly tone, like Lenny in the morning before he had coffee. It sounded like one of the other dancers from Carmine’s last show. Danny. The one who often stayed at Carmine’s house because it was too far to travel on late nights.

Another voice shattered her thoughts. “Hey Laverne!” Squiggy cried. “Look, Lenny! It’s Laverne!” Idiots, thought Laverne. We were supposed to be meeting here.

“Laverne?!” Lenny ran up and engulfed her in a hug. While she slapped him off with her purse, the two figures left the doorway. It must not have been Carmine, because he would have come over after all that commotion. “What are you doing here, Laverne?”

“Meeting you after a bad date,” said Laverne sadly. Squiggy offered to show her his collection of moths.

“They always cheer me up,” he said. “I dressed them up special for Christmas.” It cheered Laverne up to know that her Pops would never have closed her up in a closet.

“Was that Carmine?” Laverne asked. “Over in the doorway? Under the mistletoe?”

“Carmine? What would Carmine be doing in this part of town? No one here knows him.” said Squiggy. The figures seemed to remember an important appointment elsewhere.

“Why do you keep shouting?” Laverne asked.

'We're not shouting, Laverne," shouted Squiggy. "We're just happy to see you, Laverne."

“Let’s go back to Pizza Bowl,” said Lenny. Pops would give them a pie that got scorched on one side and no one else wanted. The holiday special was shaped like holly leaves and tended to burn at the tips.

Later that night, Carmine came in, looking green around the edges of his face. Lenny caught him at the door. “It’s okay,” he said. “We told her it wasn’t you. Get out of here before she sees that guilty mug.”

Carmine wrapped Lenny in a hug. “Merry Christmas, Lenny.”

"Enjoy it," said Lenny. "We forgot to buy you a present."


End file.
